Friday, September 26, 2014

Bible Biography, Mystic Myth, Juicy Journal

Keeping the cred.
I went out thrifting the other day and actually found some really cool stuff. I found a genuine silver soap dish thingy that I am going to use for holding picks on my desk, a small old wooden box I will use for keeping tiny treasure in and finally a Bible that was published in 1855. I know what you're all thinking, "Yo I think Zach is losing his damn Maggot mind bro!" I assure you, you are mistaken. Firstly the book itself is trashed. It's beat to shit and the cover has been torn from the binding. Time has seen to it's desecration. It was in a display case and I asked the woman if I could see it and upon closer inspection I said aloud, "It's in pretty rough shape..." Thereby the woman responded with, "Well that's a good thing! That means it got used!" Of course in that moment my face tore open and my hellion host burst out and puked lava bile all over her and she melted as her screams echoed endlessly to the empty heavens. In actuality I merely restrained myself by stabbing myself in the leg with a ceremonial dagger I keep on hand in times of crisis. But I did end up buying it and it has been fascinating to turn through the pages and think about the hands that held this book. Nikola Tesla was born a year after this book was made and he lived and died his entire time on this Earth in the span of this books existence. The North and South were just starting to get pissed at each other as the American Civil War didn't commence until 1861. I don't know about you, but that shit blows my fucking mind. Maybe a Chaplin braved the battle fields casting restoration spells on fallen comrades. Perhaps a dragon swept down and he was forced to used a master level destruction spell to fell the irreverent beast! Whoops sorry, still been playing Skyrim a lot lately. All in all I don't usually get too caught up in collecting historical artifacts but this is easily the oldest thing I own and probably will be for a long time. And I am glad a heathen like me was able to swoop in and keep it from a pious shit-pisser who would attenuate the appreciation of this item. Now I just need Kerry King to autograph it and then I'll really have something.

A mystic medicine man.
Speaking of unholy atrocity and shit, the fall solstice was a few days ago. This brought about some new vigor for me in many different ways. First of all, I put little stock in the powers of astrology, the Moon cycles, solar activity, time between bowel movements, crystal resonance, atmospheric oscillations, jerking off upside down or whether the ground hog sees his shadow or not. But I do accept the unimaginable naiveté that the human experience befalls us so I leave the door open that all these things may be a piece to the incalculable enigma that is the universe and the impact it could have on us in unfathomable ways. That being said; fuck Moon children, Earth descendants, Sun sprouts or any other occult denominations. I give you pagans an extra mile on things because you we're here first and I would begrudgingly rather be trapped on a deserted island with you than Johnny McChrist-Humper any day of the week. But once you've reached the age of reason it's time to drop the shit and crawl out from under that rock just like any other delusional neophyte. And I hate to sound contradictory, but hey I am just some fucker from Conklin so please disregard all of this, I am just here to help. If there is one thing I am, it's a person who loves helping others. But I found an image the other day that had to do with "Moon symbols." Who knows what the fuck that means, but I did find it interesting to learn about the different symbols and what they meant. I used to be under the "Carlinian" philosophy of, "Leave symbols to the symbol-minded." But I think symbols can be a compelling and authoritative aspect of culture. Which can be both marvelous and malignant all at once. So I have grown to appreciate symbols for their caprice and almost supernatural influence. So I occasionally enjoy reading a horoscope or hearing whether or not Jupiter's 3rd moon is going to fuck me over this week. But I don't let it degrade my sense of reason and should be taken in with scrutiny and a distance to see things for what they are. Because remember, all of this is just shit someone made up. It's all make believe. But make believe can be fun every now and then. I can't wait till I can go slay more dragons when I'm done with this stupid post.

Footage from a recent
Jucifer show.
As I often do, I will leave you all with a short update about Ruined and the progress we are making. We have finally booked a show at The Pyramid Scheme October 6th opening for Jucifer. We are playing a completely brand new song that we have been working on for a while now that will hopefully go off well. (I must admit, every bar show I have ever played has gone horribly array so I am mildly nervous about that.) But Sky and I are both excited to play this show and to finally play a local show that we might actually, sort of, kind of fit the bill a little bit. Obviously vocally we are a whimpy fuckhead band but I think we might be vaguely in the unholy realm of similarity when it comes to our overall sound. But of course Jucifer will obliterate all opposition and will turn your vital organs into liquid shit. So come on out if you feel like dying slowly while the trembling thunder of their amplifiers ruptures the ground beneath you as your life-force pools at your feet and spills into the Earth. Until finally your bones crumble and you are left nothing more than an ashen waste. If that sounds like fun, here's the event page for the show and come on down! (JUCIFER EVENT PAGE)

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