In My Head I'm Still Fighting, Bouquet Of Clumsy Words, A Musical Thing

If only.

Lately I have been doing something that a lot of people do, but I try my hardest to avoid doing but I have been worrying about money a lot lately. I won't go into details but basically I went to college which apparently helps you make money, but I was unaware that I owed money to essentially the Umbrella Corporation and now I am way further in debt then I thought I was and the zombie apocalypse is most likely just around the river bend. Zombies will come and eat my face and best case scenario I become a smart zombie who can open doors and shoot a bazooka otherwise my fate is much like a puddle. A puddle of sinew and various neoplasms reduced upon cement and tire tread.

So this subject makes me want to weigh in on my college experiences and now that I am a 20 something and my life is over, I feel that I have gained some perspective and perhaps even some wisdom on the subject. Essentially, when I was a wee lad in the magical countrysides of Michigan, I was naive and thought that going to college would be a great experience and would help me find a career that I loved so I could live comfortably while still pursuing my dreams. Now I would like to take a small step back and say that I am grateful I went to college for some reasons. Because I would have never been exposed to certain things had I never gone to college. Most of the philosophers I still read today I first learned of while I was in college. But the ironic thing was almost any philosopher I would read would basically say, "Higher education is a fucking joke, you're wasting your time. I spent all my money on higher education and I am fucking miserable." I have never been able to find the exact quote again, but I remember reading a passage from Nietzsche while I was in college that was essentially "The exceptional person does not seek a calling, but knows to be called." And I always related with that greatly. You cannot manifest destiny, it is simply something you can feel within yourself. But back to the whole college shit. If I ever had a child and they asked me for guidance I would hope that perhaps they maybe had scholarships and other things given to them from third parties so that they wouldn't have to waste any of their personal (or my) money. If that were the case, I would encourage them to go. I think it made me a better overall person after going to college, and had I not gone I probably would be pretty stupid. I'd probably be better at my instruments but at the cost of cognition. But if they had to go and dig themselves into debt in order for that experience, than fuck that. It is not worth it. Unless they want to be a corporate drone and have zero substance I would tell them it is not worth their time. If they want to be a liberal arts major, an artist of some kind or writer then they are just fucking themselves over. I would tell them to learn a trade skill and read every book they can. I have posted this video below before, but if you have not seen it I implore you to watch it. It's only about 2 minutes long and it is from a really great philosopher named Alan Watts. I always felt that this short passage always summed up my entire perspective on life.

"You were supposed to sing, or to dance

while the music was being played."

Now of course just like every post I have to give some Ruined updates. We are going to be playing a show at the Waffle Haus tomorrow night February 28th. I am going to be doing a solo acoustic set since we are doing an all acoustic split release with Palm Hands and we are only going to dub about 20 tapes and then that's it. I have been dubbing my side to get a head start and I listened to it the other night, if it was up to me this would be the only way you would want to listen to these songs. So I highly suggest coming out and buying one while you can. I will most likely put the songs on Bandcamp at least for a short while but they will sound like microchips. Way too digital, it will lack warmth. You have to have this tape is what I am telling you. Remember that thing you did years ago that you will regret for the rest of your life? Not buying this tape will be another one of those things. Also, I might have some Ruined shirts printed up by tomorrow but that's a big maybe. As I mentioned in the above paragraph, I am kind of righteously fucked right now. I would appreciate the support if you were hoping to get some Ruined gear anyways now would be just a fucking dandy time to do so! YAY!!!!!!! Otherwise, Ruined is not playing until March 30th in Muskegon with Planning for Burial which I am excited about. Hopefully I can be out of my post-college grave site by then and can afford a van. Probably won't though since God hates us all.