|Falling from grace.|
A dear sailor friend of mine brought me on of those free bible booklet things today. It was titled "Our Daily Bread" which you may or may not be familiar with. Apparently bread is the body of Christ. And apparently BLT's are the body, nipple, hair, and nipple hair of Christ. Anywho, I only opened it for a few minutes and was once again bewildered by the text and left confused and dazed which is perhaps the purpose of the document. It had been quite a few years since I have read the Bible and it has not gotten any easier to read. I read Dante's "Inferno" in 6th grade and that made a lot more sense to me. Probably because I am a child of Kerry King and the runes of the dark lord are like nursery rhymes to my ears. But the language of this thing is a lot like a wizard's tome. "And Oh Lord, how many time shall I forgive my brother unto Him? Up to seven times? And if it sayeth unto thy Lord, shall I cast magic missile upon his brow? Shalt I summon Tim The Enchanter from his swarthy sunder? Shalt I toss the holy hand grenade of Antioch? Shalt I count to 3 or unto 5?" You see the reason it is so hard for me to read is one of the first rules I learned in any writing class I ever took. You can't write with the presumption that your readers already believe in "factual" information that you made up whether it is true or not. They have no idea what the fuck you're talking about if you just say things like "Yeah, God has super powers so there you go." Before you even crack that thing open, the writer assumes that you already are a fucking moron basically. And I would not be surprised if the language is designed to confuse impressionable minds who seek out explanation from authority figures around them. Now, as far as simple philosophies of "forgiveness" or "kindness," I think those lessons can be learned from any work of fiction including the Bible. But as far as a lifelong ethos, that is just flat out fucking stupid. It was all made up, take it with a grain of salt.
Speaking of stupid bullshit, I am starting a new band. I am calling it RUINED after the Jesu song of the same title. I am hoping this project will wind up being the cure to a lot of my ailments with music. I am treating it as my solo project but will welcome other sailors into the fold for collaboration and for fun. I just want to be able to tour on more of a whim and be able to go at whatever pace I want with this band. For the most part, I am planning on it just being drums and bass, and of course would need to find people to fill in on the drums but I am not too worried about it. I am currently learning drums right now though for recording purposes. Otherwise I am really excited about this and am hoping to start playing shows relatively soon and to get a decent EP put out. I have an idea for a cool 2 song LP but I want to wait until I have more of a buzz and access to quality recording. But it should be a gay ole gloomy time. I have a one song demo you can check out HERE.
Some of the imagery I have been using has been tornadoes. I have always had a strange, enigmatic relationship with tornadoes. I have never been near a true tornado living in the funnel free land of Michigan. But I have had some close calls with tornadoes that lasted maybe a few seconds. And yet, they have always found me in my dreams and have made their home in my daily thoughts. In my dreams, they are always on the horizon or about to envelope the atmosphere around me and I have only moments to decide my next move. Very rarely do they come to fruition but the suspense is always crushing.
But the funnel clouds or the dark mist that created them are almost always the backdrop to my dreams. I don't really understand why I have had such a connection to these natural occurrences but I consider them an integral part of my life. I don't put much stake in the the science or mysticism of oneirology (the study of dreams.) But I do think that dreams can be your subconscious trying to solve a problem your conscious mind cannot. But I have found comfort in the stability within the chaos of my mind's tornadoes. Sometimes it is nice to know that something can remain constant from such a young age all the way until adulthood. They have been there as long as I can remember and as a child I used to be frightened and haunted by them. I would wake up with this sense of urgency and still do to this day. Which I think it is good to wake up that way from time to time. It keeps me alive and vibrant. I consider them a welcomed guest, and another reminder that we must embrace the macabre, nourish the bleak and celebrate dread.