Thursday, April 18, 2013

Crow For Hire, The Goth Is Greener, Conklin Cream

I have been feeling restless lately. Each day just spills into the next one and I find myself just pushing myself through to my days off which end up whipping by primarily because I have to sleep 13 hours just to catch up from the rest of the week. Then I just repeat the whole process again. Today I basically start my work week again and I would rather dance in the rain. I wish someone kept some sort of garden in their basement and simultaneously has a very bad crow problem. So I could be a live scarecrow for a living. Does anyone grow things in their homes that they don't want to see the light of day? I am straight edge so your product would be safe with me. But I am also vegan so I like eating plants so buyer beware.

Maggot for life.
So I linger on, searching for meaning and fun. I have been playing Final Fantasy 9 a lot and feeling nostalgic about the good ole days. I was looking at my driver's license the other day and it still has the old address that I had when I lived with my brother on Alpine. We lived in a two bedroom apartment and it fucking ruled. We respected each other's space and just sort of did our own thing. I seriously miss the shit out of that. I was going to school full time and working 30 hours a week and yet I was pretty happy. I would just play video games, bass guitar and would occasionally do homework. I need to find a sustainable way to tour as often as I would like to. Every 3 months would be great especially if I eventually got a laptop and could find a dark corner right after I was done playing. I need to surround myself with reliable and like minded people and not bullshit myself or anyone else anymore. It is astounding how crushing working is, but not working also hinders my ability to do the things I want to do. It's a vicious cycle. It's never going to get any better. I HAVE NO CHOICE. I need money to make all this possible and that will forever hold me back. But I think I need to find my own penis showing game.

But hey fuck it, do it live! The one thing that I need to remind myself is that nothing is permanent. Even our lives end eventually (thank Kerry King.) If things really get bad enough I am hopeful that I will keep it Conklin and move on to other things. Whatever those other things may be who knows. Probably porn. Action packed porn. Like literally action. Machine guns and one liners aloft. "Remember when I said I'd felatio you last...I lied..." I was hoping that this summer would be full of wonder and whimsy, and perhaps it still will though things are not looking great. I will hopefully have some new gear by the end of May and maybe that will be the kick in the ass I need to Maggot Mosh all over this land of the lost. I notice I use the word "hope" or a variation of that word too often. There is no hope, God Hates Us All. Just wanted to clear that up. Things were looking a little to "bright tunnel-y" for this cowboy. Enjoy the rain everyone.

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