Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Just The Nip, Mothra Returns, Wisdom From The Mines

Have you ever spilled some sort of liquid on your shirt? I'm sure you have, you're only human. But if you're like me, you only spill a drop of liquid because you are always keen, focused and sober as a carrot. But that one drop, iridescent and indiscriminate, always... ALWAYS seems to land on the tip of your nipple. The entirety of your shirt is completely dry except that one little spot right where your nipple is! Kerry King that is so fucking annoying! I like stimulation as much as the next person but that is just frustrating! On top of that, lets put you into a hypothetical situation. You are using a deli slicer, obviously only the most elite sentient beings on Earth have handled this piece of equipment. So I will describe it to you, basically it's a big fucking metal gizmo with a giant ass blade that spins to slice flesh efficiently and evenly (just ask my middle finger...) But this thing comes apart, including a heavy platform complete with a weight with points on the bottom of it. This weight slides up and down a smooth steal pole. So back to our scenario, you are fuming from wet nipple syndrome so you are distracted. So while reattaching the platform, the weight slides swiftly and crushes your other nipple between plastic spikes and solid stainless steal! Talk about "FUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK!!!!!!!!"

Anywho, Mothra went on tour this past weekend. Oh actually I meant Tristram, sorry about that. We played a show in Grand Rapids on the 14th and it was pretty much like I expected it to go. Shitty. But I learned a long time ago back in the potato mines of Conklin, "The more shit you have, the warmer the nights will be...alone...forever..." Then we drove to Milwaukee but got caught in traffic for 2 hours and Codi and I did BANE IMPERSONATIONS while Richard DIDN'T LAUGH. We got to the house and it ended up being really cool and we played well. Then we went to a co-op the next morning and hung out with some cool people and ate awesome vegan breakfast sandwiches. After we fueled up we went to Chicago and played another great show with a lot of cool bands. Then we all went to Chicago Diner for breakfast and I had a fucking awesome vegan Monte Cristo which I'd never had. Afterwards we said our tearful goodbyes and drove to Bloomington, Indiana. We arrived, waited for a couple hours and about 7 people came and we played in a living room to 4 people cause some people had school in the morning. Shit happens and I don't really care if people come to my band's shows since I never go to anyone else's. And I had some of the best chili of my life so that was worth the drive. 

Touring did make me realize, I really need to get newer, and way better equipment. I would like to get back on bass for Tristram eventually but I need way better gear. I also want better stuff for Longing. Now that tour is over I want to start putting a lot more time into being gloomy and shitty again. I was reading more Eric G. Wilson while we were driving through Indiana and got very pensive and really wished I was doing more for Longing. I really want to do a 3 song cover EP just for the shit of it. I was listening to "Something In The Way" by Nirvana and that has got to be on it. That was the first record I ever bought when I was like 12 and I have always wanted to cover that song. Rest In Flames. 

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