Friday, February 22, 2013

Gloom I Choose You!!!, The Gift Of Being Grateful, Fuck You Ronald

I started playing/watching Pokemon today. It has been really exciting and I really want to get a Pokemon tattoo sometime soon. I pretty much only want really gloomy shit and nerdy shit to be tattooed on me now. But on the subject of being nerdy, I mentioned to some people that I was excited to play Pokemon for at least 7 hours on my day off. And in the past I have been met with scoffs or judgement. When Borderlands 2 came out I pretty much drank my own urine and tried to survive simply by metastasizing my own waste, but to no avail. I did occasionally have to leave and get food or some dumb shit like that. Same story for when Diablo 3 and Skyrim came out. And when I was struggling with my World Of Warcraft addiction during my later teen years. I would be awoken from my slumber with dreams of conquest and would play WoW before school and all day after school. Luckily I always had a bass in my hands at the same time or I would have been a level 70 Loser with a Shield of Virginity and Sword of Premature Ejaculation. And I know what a lot of you are thinking, "What a pathetic turdgoblin..." But think about it, how often in life are you driven from your sleep with excitement? Once? Maybe twice a year? If you ask me, that's pathetic. Even if it is all fantasy, the fact that my senses and mind are stirred with passion even for a few hours is enthralling and I wouldn't have it any other way. So needless to say, I am proud to be a fucking loser nerd. And I have said this many times in the past, but if there is an afterlife, I will only be satisfied if I become an Elven demon hunting wizard with a Gunblade who befriends Pokemon and liberates Pokemon forever and ever.

In other news, I got my disposable camera developed the other day. I only got 1 batch of copies and they offered to put the pictures on a disc and I refused. Which really seemed to confuse them. And I thought about that for a while and it's my belief that you can't truly appreciate something unless it can be lost or taken from you. I think pictures are a great way to document a memory and to bring back warm feelings of nostalgia, but I also think they are meant to be personal mementos. And if you truly wish to share them with others then have them come to your fucking house and look at that shit and you can all bond over them together. I'm sure that's what sharing bong hits is like. Communal and everyone gets to enjoy the experience. As always, George Carlin has a great bit about this topic. Let me see if I can find a clip of it...merrrrrrOh! I found it! It has a bit about cowboys before it but all of it's fucking gold.

In summation, I was taught in English and writing classes that conclusion paragraphs are so 1976. But fuck that noise, we keep it real and we keep it Conklin. In which case I should be typing this with my toes while biting on a knife and sitting on a Jack Daniel's bottle. Which also reminds me, my village was in a fucking McDonald's ad. I tried to forget about this fucking garbage. Watch this video below to see what was across the street from my house. The fact that McDonald's had to come to fucking Conklin Michigan to find a "family farm" that supplies them apples should be evidence of how fucked agribusiness is overall. But that's a whole different rant for another day. Just remember, as a young boy there were days where I would wonder why my eyes burned and I would look across the street and see giant toxic spraying equipment. There is no fresh, all natural, GMO free, low hormone, high nutrition, or fair trade food at fucking McDonald's. Don't eat that garbage and don't be fooled by some good ole boys in the sunshine. Decent food is barely a niche market, so those 5 organic farmers you know are about 0.00000001% of the world of anyone who gives a shit. We're all dying slow horrible deaths and there is really nothing that can be done. I can abstain from shit for the rest of my life but I'll still die from a pathogen that grew out of a factory farm down the road. Fuck I ranted, anyways watch this shit and know that the potato mines are nothing like this. We keep it real in the inky blackness of the potato pit.

No comments:

Post a Comment