The Jovial Pontifications of Genitalia, The Great Re-Titling, Other Shit (How Creative...)

         (WARNING! PENIS TALK AHEAD!!!!!!) 

I have been really sick the past few days just like everyone else. Lots of tea induced dreams that really confuse and scare me. But I was in the shower yesterday and I noticed whenever I have a fever and am feeling really sick my penis looks really weird. The phallic part shrinks as far back as it can (which is astounding considering that it can shrink any further than it's usual positioning.) And then the rest of it drops down so far that I feel like I could crush myself with my own knees. I am wondering if I am alone in this or not. It goes from looking like a mastodon the mystic creature of legend. To looking like that guy from Mastodon. ------------->

Otherwise, I have decided that this blog is going to be just my stupid  fucking blog about all my stupid fucking bands and my stupid fucking penis I guess. So now I need to think of a new title for this blog. Captain Fuckturd's Formal Filings of Fastidious Formulations of Phallic Discussion seems like a good one. I'll think of something. With that being said, I am starting another project called Sandshrew W.K.. It is a negative hardcore band inspired by: Andrew W.K., Good Clean Fun, Beyonce, Earth Crisis, Slipknot, Black Flag, Prince, Seven Generations, Champion, and whatever else spills into my cerebellum. What is great about this band is that it is so natural that it's insane. I will think of a good song title or idea and within 2 hours I have a complete song ready to go. I have one song recorded that you can check out HERE. It's a song about a big ass stupid looking coat that my dad gave me that he used to wear in high school. Other songs in the works are "Let's Talk (Then Fuck Off.)" and "Fuck You Fronted Hardcore." If my throat didn't feel like  lava monsters are having sex in it I would probably have at least one of these done today.

And for anyone who doesn't know all the bands I am in aside from SANDSHREW W.K. there is of course SQUALL. I am in a melodic/evil/post rocky/hardcore-ish band called TRISTRAM. And I am in a super awesome dream pop shoegaze band called PROCESSION. Which that band is recording a new split at the end of this month that I am really excited about. Also we were recently in Maximum Rock And Roll with an interview we did a while back. It was pretty awesome to be reminded about how cool everyone in that band is. Graham and Britty were totally themselves in that article with no shits given. Totally awesome.