Friday, December 28, 2012

NEW MELT-FACE ACTION!!!, Pathetic Pickle, Beautiful Sadness

I finally got around to posting a new song demo. (Check it out here ) Easily one of our more disgusting songs to date. I don't have plans to create many songs like this but I like it a lot. It is also probably going to be the last song demo I will post since we are hoping to start working on a full length. We are shooting for about 8 songs at the moments and have about 5 1/2 written with bass and vocals. If I ever find time to gloom alone for days on end we will probably bang this out in a reasonable amount of time. Winter is a wonderful time for this type of expression.

Otherwise, I have been struggling with loneliness lately. I woke up this morning feeling pretty horrible. I have dreams every now and then that tell me that I am really fucking myself over. It's hard to ignore them when they seem so real. And then I wake up and almost fall through my fake wall that I built with closet doors and broken window frames. I love living in the dark of the basement I just wonder if I am really just a pathetic asshole with no real purpose. I think there is a lot of strong evidence that shows that could be the case. I just watch Parks And Recreation and think about trees. I like trees.

Believe it or not though, some things do make me feel kinship with others. Playing music with Monte has been one of the few certainties in my life over these past 6 or 7 years. Also I have been reading books by the author Eric G. Wilson. My friend Sock turned me onto him and I have felt invigorated every time I read even a page or two of these books. People are always trying to tell me that melancholy is a burden and I have never agreed with that. The following is an excerpt from the book "Against Happiness" by Eric G. Wilson that I have come to ponder almost everyday since I have read it.

"I learn again that my lonely meditations on death breed lively musings on life. I am further instructed in the mysteries of the universe, in the cosmic interplay between transience and permanence. Alerted to this pattern, I overcome my alienation and realize that I, like all other creatures, am a meeting place of wondrous oppositions, wings and dirt, stars and slugs." 

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