Sunday, October 14, 2012

Eyelid, The Myth of Sincerity, March Forth Into The Fray

I just woke up a little while ago. I had extremely awful dreams all night long, but when I thought about them even for a moment, I realized that with very little imagination they all were true one way or another. Familiar faces doing familiar things until eventually it all came into focus.

I think in a lot of ways, my troubles all began when I started believing in the character of others. I was young and naive and didn't understand that people don't give a shit about anyone else unless it behooves them in some way. I have been lucky to have a great family my entire life, but somewhere along the way I lost the tools that other people seem to have that give them happiness. Perhaps I never had them at all or they were taken away from me. But when I learn from my mistakes, that wisdom brings me no solace. People would much rather leave you behind then consider forgiveness or compassion. They would rather consider the next 5 seconds of their life before they would ever consider the next 5 years of yours. Vulnerability is met with contempt, generosity with suspicion, rationality with rage. I have such little understanding with anyone on this Earth. If you have that with anyone else I would cherish it as often as you can. The rest of us must break a part with every step. The worst part is we have to do with a smile on our face so we don't get even more excluded for being such a bummer bro.

So what is the point? I find inspiration in words and music. Enough so that is drives me to do the same. To expel all of my energy into the void where maybe a few exceptional minds may dwell. I hope the answer is out there for all of us. Try to be happy, when that inevitably fails, stay gloomy.

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